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Today, As We Watched Naked Cops
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Smutty Novella (One day, as I watched Naked Cops)'s LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 30th, 2006
9:38 am
(From cnn.com)

Naked role for Harry Potter star

Friday, July 28, 2006; Posted: 7:05 a.m. EDT (11:05 GMT)

Daniel Radcliffe will star as a psychologically disturbed stable boy.

Manage Alerts | What Is This? LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe will strip off for his London stage debut as a psychologically disturbed stable boy in "Equus".

The 17-year-old, currently making the fifth Harry Potter film, will star alongside Richard Griffiths, who plays his grumpy uncle in the wizard sagas.

Radcliffe will play Alan Strang, a stable boy who is interviewed by a psychiatrist after he blinds six horses with a metal spike. In Peter Shaffer's controversial play, the role requires the actor to ride naked on his horse.

"This is an extraordinary play and, yes, there is a scene of nudity in it, but that's not what the play is about," said Radcliffe's publicist Vanessa Davies.

"He finishes shooting 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' in October or November and rehearsals are starting in January," she added. The play is expected to open in March.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is the fifth J.K. Rowling book to be turned into a film. There are doubts about whether Radcliffe can continue to play the boy wizard until the end of the series.

Rowling is now writing the seventh and final book of the hugely successful series.

The first four Harry Potter films have amassed around $3.5 billion worldwide at the box office.

Copyright 2006 Reuters. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Monday, January 30th, 2006
4:13 pm
Oh, occupational risks
Dominatrix Acquitted in Bondage Death 1 hour, 10 minutes ago

DEDHAM, Mass. - A dominatrix was acquitted of manslaughter Monday in the death of a man who prosecutors say suffered a heart attack while strapped to a replica of a medieval rack.

Barbara Asher, a 56-year-old woman who called herself Mistress Lauren M, was also cleared of dismemberment.

Prosecutors said that 53-year-old Michael Lord suffered a heart attack in 2000 during a bondage session in a "dungeon" in Asher's condominium and that Asher did nothing to help him for five minutes for fear authorities would find out about her business.

Asher had her boyfriend chop up the body of the 275-pound retired telephone company worker, and they dumped it behind a restaurant in Maine, prosecutors said. His remains have never been found.

Prosecutors said Asher confessed to police, but the alleged confession was not taped, and investigators testified they did not save their notes.

Asher's lawyer, Stephanie Page, said there was nothing to prove Lord was even dead — no body, no blood, no DNA.

During his closing argument to the jury, prosecutor Robert Nelson put on a black leather mask with a zippered mouth opening and re-enacted the bondage session. With both hands, he reached back and clutched the top of a blackboard as if strapped to the rack. Then he hung his head as if dead.

Asher's lawyer objected, and the judge agreed.

"That's enough Mr. Nelson," Judge Charles Grabau said. "Thank you for your demonstration."

(from Yahoo news)
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
12:47 pm
Thaddeus was the new bitch at the stables. They called him the stableboy, but, although he was young and naïve and inexperienced in nearly all matters, he was sage enough to know that he was really the bitch. From what he could gather, the last stablebitch had left abruptly and under mysterious circumstances, apparently not bothering to give a firm, satisfactory reason for his departure. Thaddeus didn’t think much of it. He needed a job and they paid good money for reasonable hours, and that’s all that really mattered to him. He had been assigned a block of stalls in the sprawling stables, and had begun work immediately, reasoning that he could get in and out more quickly that way, allowing him to go home and relax with his radio. He was just beginning to really get into the work, entranced by the rhythmic back-and-forth of his pitchfork, when a stern hand from out of nowhere landed on his shoulder. He stiffened and yelped and nearly hit his head on a low beam. He heard a distinctly male voice chuckling softly by his ear, and turned warily to find his senses filled with the striking features of a stern but amused face.
“I…” he stuttered.
The man smiled. “How’re the stalls, uh, Thaddeus, is it?”
“Er, they’re really…attractive.” He made a choking noise in his throat. “Gah! I mean- uh, well, that is, they are attractive, sure, but I…they’re coming…nicely.”
“The man smiled. “I expected as much. You look like a sturdy boy, strong and…nubile.”
Thaddeus gulped. “Th-thanks, uh…”
“James…” he tried the name on his tongue. “Well, uh, nice to meet you, James. I assume you…work here too?”
“Oh, I’m just the riding master,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.
“Oh!” Thaddeus snapped to attention. “I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t mean any offense! If…if I can redeem myself in any way, I-“
“My, my, aren’t we the submissive little…” James mused with a grin. He saw Thaddeus’ quizzical look and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Don’t think of it. If I wanted to be addressed as ‘sir’ and treated like a pompous prick, I would have introduced myself thusly. I have a name for a reason.”
“Thank you…” he murmured awkwardly. “I…should probably get back to my work.” He turned, grabbing his pitchfork and bending over it to resume his pitchforking. He never saw it coming.
One second, he was standing almost a yard from James, and the next he could feel James’ body on his, almost straddling his small frame. “Although…there is one thing you could do…” James whispered seductively in his ear. He felt James’ skillful hand moving firmly but gently to clutch his manhood.
“Anything,” he gasped, melting into James’ embrace.
“Turn around.” His breath was warm and moist on Thaddeus’ tender ear, and he felt his pants shrink as he whimpered in anticipation. He complied, turning once again to face his soon-to-be lover.
“I have to know, Thaddeus, have you ever…done this?”
Thaddeus hesitated. “N…no, s—James,” he admitted.
James smiled softly. “We’ll just have to take this slowly, then.” His fingers were running through the short little hairs on Thaddeus’ neck, and, oh GOD James was, he was kissing his neck, those soft pink lips were touching his flesh. Thaddeus gave a moan that would have been inaudible, if not for James’ proximity to his voice box. His hand, the one that wasn’t behind Thaddeus’ head, was roving down his chest, down, down, past his belly to his—
“James,” he rasped.
James disengaged his lips and looked worriedly into Thaddeus’ once-innocent eyes. “Are you all right?”
“I…I…” he glanced away briefly, then locked his gaze with James’. Gaining courage, he wrapped his arms around James’ torso and pulled him in close for a passionate kiss. James gave a muffled gasp, and Thaddeus felt his hardness pressed longingly against his own. “James, I…I need you...please...”
James’ eyes twinkled as he reached behind himself to his back pocket. “Don’t worry,” he said, as he produced a honey dipper. “It’s newly-polished, and I’ve got plenty of lube.”

Current Mood: mildly awake
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
10:50 pm
Roger and Dimitri, OTP.
This is a story I wrote for Creative Writing and didn't get a chance to share with the class (we ran out of time, bah!) It's not really smutty, but...it's been described by others as containing 'implied buttsex' and also this community needs reviving. So!

There was nothing really remarkable about the night that Roger met the love of his life. He was sitting by himself at a table for two in the town’s small, intimate coffee shop, typing busily on his laptop, when Dimitri had spun around the empty chair in front of Roger and plunked himself down in one swift, agile motion. He rested his forearms on the smoothly lacquered surface and leaned in expectantly, prompting Roger to look up warily from his Word document and skeptically raise an eyebrow. “Can I…help you?” Roger asked, and the other man gave him a mischievous grin and whispered conspiratorially, “The name’s Dimitri. Et tu?”

“What are you, some kind of Soviet spy?” Roger had demanded with a wry smile.

"No," responded Dimitri, with a gleam in his eye. "That would be my grandfather...and I was speaking French."

But Roger was oddly charmed by Dimitri, and they began “accidentally” running into each other. Same place, same time, every Friday night. It led inevitably to the awkward but mutual admission that they were running into each other on purpose, which in turn led to an effort to run into each other more often, which led, eventually, to the discovery that the two of them made a remarkable duo. Following the natural succession of these things, they fell madly in love and, at length, even moved in with each other, but it wasn’t until they’d been together for some time that Dimitri approached Roger over breakfast one day with an uncomfortable look on his face and an awkward posture to his body. Roger was sitting (He had a tendency to approach him when he was sitting; it was a little less intimidating for Dimitri, who avoided conflict like the plague). This time, Roger was enjoying his morning coffee, the opinion section of the Times folded casually in his left hand, when Dimitri approached the table and leaned on it heavily, letting a ponderous sigh escape his lips. Roger glanced up, managing an early-morning smile and warmly inquiring, “What is it, dear?”

Dimitri looked him briefly in those beautiful green eyes and twitched a fleeting smile across his mouth that really only amounted to an uneasy flash of the canines. “Honey,” he said. “We have to talk.”

Roger looked at him standing there, so lovably ruffled in that button-down shirt he had obviously slept in, and wondered what could be so pressing a matter that Dimitri had roused himself before ten o’clock to tell him about it. He smiled softly to himself, lost in the thought of Dimitri sprawled haphazardly across their bed, blankets and sheets tangled indiscriminately around his limbs as he twitched adorably and drooled on all the pillows in sight. Normally, Dimitri would still be firmly curled in that position, but here he was, arguably awake and looking like the poster child for sleep-deprivation. Roger frowned worriedly.

“Honey, what…what is it? Why are you…conscious?” he asked with mounting concern. “Do you feel ok? Do you have a fever? Do you need some chamomile?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” he interrupted with affectionate sarcasm. Dimitri’s eyes moved softly over Roger’s face, his knitted brow, his consternated expression, the heavy bags of stress under his eyes. “I’m not…sick, per se. Just…” he broke off, unsure of how to continue.

Roger’s heart shot into his Adam’s apple. Had he done something? Roger hated the thought of upsetting Dimitri more than anything else in the world, including steamed asparagus. If Roger were ever to consider taking his own life, the reason would undoubtedly be that he had badly hurt someone he loved. He felt his heart constrict with guilt as he murmured, “It’s not…was it something I did? If I did anything to hurt you, I-”

Dimitri cut him off hastily. “No! No, I…it’s nothing you did. I’m not upset with you, it…it’s more of a…personal issue.”

“Oh, I...uh, you…you don’t have to be afraid to-” He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. “Dimitri, honey, you can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can’t be that bad…” Roger dearly hoped he wouldn’t be eating those words.

Dimitri smirked apprehensively, then took a deep breath and, “You promise you won’t laugh?”

Roger smiled with bemusement. “Sweetheart, I swear I won’t laugh at you.”

Dimitri closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steadying himself on the table. He reopened them and said, in a wavering voice, “Well, I…darling, I know it sounds insane and I don’t really expect you to believe me, but I-” his voice broke. “I’ve been hiding it from you for so long and I just can’t hold it in any longer.” He took a breath and exhaled slowly. “Roger, I…I’m a…werewolf.”

Roger blinked incredulously, before breathing a laughing sigh of relief and blurting, “Oh, thank God, for a second I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant!”

Current Mood: happy
Sunday, November 13th, 2005
10:43 pm
Where have you gone, Smutty Novella?
I was just in a play, and it was ever so naughty. One character, Tony Kirby, says this to another, Alice Sycamore, when they make up after a fight: "Now, if you'll step into my office, Miss Sycamore, I'd like to do a little dictating." And most of the audience didn't catch it.

Also, my Euro book told me that King Louis IX of France was nicknamed the Spider because of his "wily and devious" ways. The book claims that this only refers to his political dealings. I have no comment.

The Smutty Novella cannot die. Help me. Revive it. (!!!)
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
10:05 pm
To avoid stagnation, I am issuing (Hehe, issuing) a new challenge. It will be nice and simple. It is as follows:
Slash three people from history. Include in this story the word "hukujoushi", which is Japanese for "death during sexual intercourse" (Thank you to Kate's brother for that piece of knowledge).
Thursday, February 17th, 2005
10:30 am
Since I almost never post here, and we're supposed to be telling stories and whatnot, I figured I'd share a couple of my dreams.. And since I'm such a sexual one, they're going to be the ones I remember that were sexual. Hooray.

First I'll share the one I had last night. I don't totally remember all of it, but I know I ended up meeting this girl.. We were walking down the street and holding hands. A car drove by filled with girls and they were like, "Ew, are they, like, holding hands?" The girl I was with was really pretty. She kind of looked like a mix between the girl in "She's all that" and Lee Lee.. Something. But we ended up at this theatre, and we were waiting in line to see a play, I think. And we were just talking or whatever... And she started licking my ear (big thing for me). I don't remember much. It was odd, though.

A few days ago I had a dream about my friend Matt (he slightly resembles Jim Morrison, but not a lot). He's currently in a relationship.. But I still like him. I always used to get the vibe that he likes me.. But I was always with someone at the time. Anyway, my friend Jenn told me he's not very big.. So my dream was off.. Anyway, we were in his room, though he had a bigger bed than he actually does. I remember stripping him and kissing and biting him all over, which drove him absolutely crazy. Then, blah blah, foreplay whatnot.. And we started having sex. But we had to stop cause I think one of his little brothers came to the door and called him. But while it was going on it was absolutely amazing, and he was a lot bigger than he really is. I really wish that dream was real.

And, to make it even (odd?), I'll share one other.. Which is definitely the strangest of them.

I was at this building I used to work at. It's a theatre that is also a huge warehouse type thing. I worked in the haunted house that was there. I dreamt that in the room I was working in I was with some girl. She was absolutely gorgeous and really unique. Somehow we ended up starting to have sex. When I stripped her, she wasn't really a girl though. She sort of looked like anime, only real. And she also had pointy ears and a tail, like a cat. But she was still hot. And we just had sex. And I woke up. And it sucked.

I also dreamt that I raped Orlando Bloom.. And then he didn't satisfy me enough so I masturbated in front of him.

My dreams are filled with too much sex. And it makes me want sex. Fuck.

Current Mood: happy
Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
8:49 pm
To continue The Argentinian/Christian story right where it left off...
I brought Christian to my apartment. Although I continually directed my “I’m gonna sex you up so crazy-like” stare at him as I led him there, he seemed rather calm. That is, until we entered ma chambre de seduction.

La chambre is a stunning room, if I may say so myself. It is covered from floor to ceiling with red silk padding, which has saved me many a time from severely damaging myself during a narcoleptic fit. Don’t let that lure you into thinking that everything involved with la chambre is soft; I have every implement of the most delicious sort of torture stored within its squishy, squishy walls.

Anyway, Christian squeaked “Golly!” the moment we entered the lovely room, and began to shake like fresh honey on…well, never mind.

“Christian, are you still here?” I purred into his ear. I have to admit that his adorable fear was starting to make my pants uncomfortable.

“O, The Argentinian, I have something I must confess.” He gasped.

“Anything, mon pamplemouse.” I moaned, coming close to being unable to control my passion.

“Well, you see…I’ve never really…done this.”

At that point, I lost conciousness…alas, not yet with ecstasy, but with narcolepsy.
8:04 pm
So, I'm in the philosophy section of a Barnes & Nobel across the street from the farmer's market in Philadelphia (Just to demonstrate how sophisticated I am), when I find a book that is a ficticious account of the last 10 years of Nietzsche's life. Er...historical fanfiction, anyone?
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
11:48 am
Hello, loves. This is lifeisjust__.. I had to get a new username and whatnot because people suck, and I don't want certain ones reading my journal...

If anyone wants to be added to my friends list or whatever, just let me know.. And if I have to fill out the application again, I will. <3

Current Mood: happy
Sunday, January 30th, 2005
4:53 pm
Christian/The Argentinian, At Last!
"Never fall in love with a woman who sells herself.  It always ends bad....fall in love with me."

    I caught Christian's hand as he moved tiredly to the door.  His eyes held sadness unparalled by any, except perhaps my own.  There was also surprise there, hidden in the deep wells of his soul.  He shook his head mournfully.  "No."
    I pulled him close and tilted his chin up until his lips met mine.  "Satine is a hopeless fancy, Christian, I can make you see the true beauty of love."
    "But you have narcolepsy.  How can there ever be anything between us if you could just fall asleep at any moment?"
    "Ah, Christian," I gently consoled.  "Who ever said that I have to be awake?"

    I took Christian to my room in the attic and seduced him roughly.  I was determined to make a man of this delusional young full, but he pushed me away.  Pulling his shirt back on, Christian glanced at me again, then turned away in embarrassment. "Christian!" I implored.  "What is there to be ashamed of?  Will you let our love pass into...?"
    Because I was asleep I did not hear him whisper, "Oh, The Argentinean.  I am still in love with Satine."  When I awoke hours later, he was gone.
    The next time I saw him was at the premiere of "Spectacular, Spectacular!" the following night.  He went to Satine, they made amends, and then she died.  I had tried to steer him from this sorrow, but he would not be deterred.
    He came to me later, the tears still fresh upon his face.  "You were right, The Argentinean.  I'm so sorry.  Will you forgive me?"
    I took him into my arms and led him away.  "Ah, Christian.  How could I not?"

--By Chelsea (Coming soon! A Draco Malfoy/Argus Filch adventure!)

Current Mood: satisfied
Monday, January 24th, 2005
9:04 pm
Challenge of Wonder!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think there should be some writing occuring at this community of the smutty novella. So, here is my challenge: Write the most dirty and absurd slash story you possibly can. And then post it. Make the world happy.

This really isn't much of a challenge. Er...I'll give it perimeters: It should be a one-shot (No one wants a long, involved story with marrige, babies, etc...at least not here), and it should mention a honey dipper at some point.

Good? Good! Let's go!
Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
12:39 am
'Ello, lovlies :)

Woohoo for my first offical entry here.

I just started a new community, and it would be awesome if some of you would check it out and join.
The first five to join are auto accepted.

I have yet to work on banners and graphics. Once I do, it'll be more impressive and better.

Also, if I'm not allowed to promote here, I'm sorry.. and I'll delete it if I have to.

Random question:
Do you prefer pirates or robots?

Current Mood: excited
Sunday, January 9th, 2005
9:52 pm
The Seven Questions...Thingy!
I will post 7 questions. Everyone who wants to should answer these seven questions. Then, they should post their own 7 questions. Because this community is as dead as sexy dead people from history (That you just can't help falling in love with).

1. If you could have sex absolutely anywhere, where would it be...and why?
2. If you could spend one day as a member of the opposite sex, what would you do during this day?
3. If there is, hypothetically, an ultimate purpose for humanity, a sort of ultimate truth, would you die right now to understand it?
4. Same question as above, except this time, would you sacrifice someone you love to understand it?
5. Would you rather be more attractive or more intelligent?
6. If there were no legal consequences, would you kill someone? If so, why would you do it, and how would you go about doing it? (I stole this question from Cassie)
7. What would be more tragic/painful: Being mutually in (romantic) love with someone, but forced not to be with them (Romeo and Juliet style, yo...I hate that play *shakes fist*), or to be romantically in love with a very good friend and never having the courage to tell them?

Heh, I'm sorry for the melodramatic questions...if they piss you off, you can come up with better ones.
Thursday, January 6th, 2005
9:53 pm
Ever have a crush on someone from history, someone who is dead? Eh?

I know I have (and do!)

(I don't mean in the necrophile sort of way)
Friday, December 31st, 2004
11:49 pm
Application (Just post it, yo):
Name: Cassie
How do you enjoy filthy smut? I enjoy it openly, and all the time. I'm like a 15 year old boy just discovering masturbation, except I'm a 16 year old girl who discovered masturbation many a year ago ;)
Pamplemouse ou fraise? Oui?
Are you a nazi (Hoping that you will respond in the negative)? No, but I do see some good points in it... I'm more along the lines of "I hate people, so just leave me alone unless you're giving me money and a place to stay."
Do you eat children (See above)? No. I hate children, so I would never be able to get physically close enough to one to cook it up and serve it. That, and I don't eat meat.
Opinion on the (foul creep that is) president of the US: I hate him with a burning, stomach churning passion. I think death is too good for the beast. He's a moronic, sorry excuse for a human, and deserves the worst possible suffering and torture. For a start, he should have to watch his daughter(s?) be skinned alive whilst his wife blows him and just as he's about to blow his load, she should shoot him in the cock. Oh, but he won't die from the pain. He'd also endure a lot of other things... Though I'm not in a bad/creative enough mood to cook them up.
Make a statement about something you consider important: I stand up and speak for those who can't. Also, new years is over rated.
Tell as little or as much about yourself, your past, your current life, and your future plans as you would like (As we are voyeuristic): Well... I have big, no, huge plans for myself. As soon as I can I'm leaving my house, this area, really.. And going to art school. Yeah, me, art school. Anyway, I'm probably going to the one in Philli... As the "best art school in the nation" is in California... And, well, I never planned to travel there. After school I'd go to New Orleans for a little while, fly to Europe... Visit London, Amsterdam, Paris, Italy (and photograph a couple that were in love, because they were in love, and it's beautiful)... Do some things like work in random coffee shops and used record stores... Settle down in Dorset, England and start a family.. Then go to Egypt, possibly Russia, and Australia.. Then go back home to Dorset and live the rest of my life. There's much, much more to it than that, but it's a lot to type, and I don't want to bore you with it :D
Post a picture, if you feel like it: Sure...

The most recent (and decent) one. Woo.

Current Mood: okay
Thursday, December 30th, 2004
11:20 pm
Alright...everyone---list movies that you have enjoyed deeply. Movies that you quote from/think about on a regular basis/make you happy every time you see them. That sort of movie.

Ma list:
Dead Poets Society
Donnie Darko
Fight Club
American Beauty

ummm...I can't think of any more at the moment.
10:53 pm
make love to me, smutty novella!
LONG AND HARD! Woo like John Travolta in a musical. Lets get down to brass tacks and play water polo.

Fuck yes.

Current Mood: HOT FOR YOUU!
Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
9:41 pm
i'm that running faggot..running free....
Application (Just post it, yo):
Name: Jen
How do you enjoy filthy smut? Vegetarian, from a can
Pamplemouse ou fraise? I smell like pink fruit
Are you a nazi (Hoping that you will respond in the negative)? Only to people who's socks match
Do you eat children (See above)? Only if they are nazi's
Opinion on the (foul creep that is) president of the US: Gaybuttseckplz?Kthx.
Make a statement about something you consider important: Time goes by when you're the driver of a train.
Tell as little or as much about yourself, your past, your current life, and your future plans as you would like (As we are voyeuristic): I was born in a cigarette box, raised in a milk carton and then dumped in a paper recycling factory. Currently, i'm working in a toothpaste factory.
Post a picture, if you feel like it:


Current Mood: cherry taco hearts
Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
10:01 pm
Do you ever wish you were David Bowie?
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